It makes me mad when people get trashed and critisized cuz they had an affair. Yes, it is wrong that they did it. but there are reasons why people have affairs, it doesn't always make them a bad person. I myself, like to be non judgemental, If someone told me they had an affair, I would listen to why they did so, not automatically jump to condemning them for the affair. people always just assume that a person is bad or evil for having an affair, but they never stop to look at all the details, about why the person did what they did, and the reasons. all Im saying is people shouldn't b e so quick to judge, people are not just good or bad. most people are just inbetween and people make mistakes. why are people out there so mean and judgmental. Im sure I'll get alot of negative feed back off this question, but just wondering if Im the only person who cares and doesn't judge others for their mistakes. thanks.
I think being non-judgmental is a sign of maturity...some people just aren't there yet. I would have judged someone for having an affair because I didn't understand about the reasons for it. Now that I am 2 moths in after being faithful for 15 years, I'll not cast stones. I never thought I would cheat, but look at me now! Sometimes things happen to us (good and bad) to help us grow as a person. And sometimes we don't know all the reasons why we choose the path we do and need a therapist to help us understand why we chose the path we did.
There's always an underlying motive. Some people simply need someone to listen and others struggle with the moral issues and consequences. They need to find a resolution to their issues. If we can be humble and remember what makes us human, we can develop our tolerance for these situations. Most people are only looking to feel loved. By itself that's not wrong, in fact it is our constitutional right, but how their behaviour affects others, especially kids is usually the issue.
Never lose your compassion for others. It is one of your greatest gifts.
because its wrong you cant play with people's emotions and that's exactly what That would be doing in some odd relationships its okay to have 3 people but in normal healthy relationships it should just be one on one you cant love to people at once so why not just follow your heart if you are stuck between two different people then maybe you are the problem and need to clear your head instead of dragging other people through the whole mess too. That's why its wrong.
Who can judge? There isn't a person walking on this earth who doesn't live in a glass house.why good people have affairs But, realistically speaking, there is no REASON for an affair, only excuses. I've made very poor choices in life, made bad decisions....and had no valid reason for them. There is no good reason for doing the wrong thing.
Why are we so quick to judge anyone for anything? It's something we do well, as well as enjoy.
I also find it quite ironic that those with the most emotion about the judgement over cheating are those who have cheated or been cheated on and are with the same person.
In general I like to think we can't judge a thing until we have experienced it...but there are some things I believe are toxic...like narcotics and cheating, and we should avoid those from the get go.
Your actually right .... No one should judge anyone. Sadly we do it every day in almost every aspect of life. Something personally I have chose to work on...
(IMPERFECTION) is in all of us. It may surface in different diverse ways , none the less it surfaces...
i agree with you totally and even if they are bad you still don't have the right to judge and on this site people make some harsh remarks to people that is down right rude i always wonder just how perfect those people are
First have u had an affair? I agree but im also having an affair with a women now.
I don't know, i agree with you. I also DON'T agree with once a cheater always a cheater!
people judge because they believe when faced with the same situation, they would react differently and more justly. some people find out too their embarrassment that they are also weak willed to temptation. Its some peoples human nature to judge and other people don't have the same temperament. others may feel that a murderer that raped his victims should get the death penalty...where others will feel if he has a change of spirit and u can feel it in their presence then that person should be forgiven and be given the chance to live...and u may totally disagree with that and not listen to reason...
different temperaments
Well said...It's true, and by doing so they always assume that the one cheated on was this great person who did nothing wrong. People need to remember it takes two! My sisters best friend admitted to not having sex with her husband in 6 years! How is that possible? How can she be so spite full? That is just cruel in my book...and he stays with her and is faithful, but can you imagine the pain in his heart feeling like his wife doesn't find him attractive? My hat is off to him. I told my wife about it and she even flipped!
I think it is wrong to have an affair, I do not think there is ever a goowhy good people have affairsd reason or a justification to have one. Yet, I agree with you. Things are not just black and white. One bad thing action, does not make a bad person.
People are judgmental about lots of things. That is just the way people are. For the most part people judge what they have never experienced. Most people say if their spouse left them they would divorce and that it would not be tolerated. That line of thinking is why the divorce rate is 50%.
Problem with affairs is that the people that have them blame everybody but themselves. then they get guilt problems and they share their affair with their partner which is dumping the problem on their shoulders, I confessed,or was found out, (which is intentional by the way) and now what are you going to do about it. People that cheat have no respect for themselves. But most of cheaters say they have problems else where. There is no good reason to cheat. So if I hear all the typical excuses I do become judgemental, and I can, be becuase I choose not to cheat. I have too much respect for myself to go down this road.
Those who judge are usually those that really didn't have a good reason to have their own affair. They won't even admit to themselves that they did it.
There are a lot of good reasons to have an affair. If you are not the person actually having the affair, you don't know. They are not all mistakes. Often it's just people doing the best they can in bad situations
Often family, financial and peer pressure prevents separation and/or divorce. The affair is the gentle way to cope.
The world does not work as it does in soap operas or Nora Roberts novels.
If you haven't had an affair, you probably will, or wish you had, sooner or later.
If doing something bad doesn't make someone a bad person, then what does? It seems to me that if you're admitting it is "wrong" then you already agree with it.
And people are quick to judge people who have affairs because betrayal is one of the worst things you can do to a person.
And there is NO reason to have an affair, lady. If you're that unhappy in a relationship, END IT FIRST. What's wrong with breaking up with someone, or divorcing them, before having sex with someone new?
You would feel differently if someone cheated on you.. People who have affairs are bad people, period. There is no excuse to lie to someone about something so personal.
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